log 2: rip :(

im so tired, the prozac hasn't built up in my system yet, so i still feel meh and bleh all the time. me and ceiling (past-crush-kinda-dating-best-friend-man) both brought monster energys to school and chugged them in the cafeteria in the span of like 10 mins before going to tech club. we didn't sit together tho cuz he sat with his guy friends which i would join but im too awkward + my sexual harasser (more abt him later) was at that table. i sat with my friend billie (fake name) though.

The sexual harrasser person i was talking about was my friend of 5 years, since 4th grade. we had been best friends and in 4th grade he told me he had a crush on me. i told him i couldnt date, but maybe in middle school, cuz thats when i could date. i just told him that to let him down easy cuz i didnt like him. it was true tho lolol. in middle school we difted apart tho, we were still friends tho. the summer before 8th grade i got his number. he turned out to be a rlly annoying texter, but long story short he would say a buncha freaky things bc thats his sense of humor, i joked along but it eventually turned into him genuinely begging me for porn daily. i never sent anything and he even tried to use our long friendship as leverage, saying "5 years btw" fuckass bitch. not to mention he was also doing that to another

she once said:

"If you're gay, you're gay. If you're straight, you're straight. And you should be allowed to be how you are and who you are."

"Why wouldn't I stand up for everybody, for all people? In the country field, we're brought up in spiritual homes, we're taught to 'judge not lest you be judged,' and it's always been a mystery to me how people jump all over things just to criticize, condemn and judge other people when that is so un-Christian — and they claim to be good Christians! We're supposed to love one another."

"I have a huge gay following, and I'm proud of them. Sometimes some of them look more like me than I do."

"I think gay couples should be allowed to marry. They should suffer like us heterosexuals."

"I try not to get into the politics of everything. I try to get into the human element of it... They cannot help that any more than I can help being Dolly Parton."(i especially like this one because you truly cant help it, and not many people understand that)

anyways, thats why shes especially special to me (and ma best friend-crush-person).

yesterday, i went to an estate sale, lookout mountian, and a buncha antique stores in tennessee. I got my best-friend-crush-person a vintage dollywood pin, because dolly parton was her favorite celebrity and her idol. i hope she likes it, imma give it to her with mikey (rottmnt) fanart n a smol clay figure of mewing mikey as a late bday pres, since i didn't go to her bday party n i'm still working on her late gift (0_o) hope she wont mind that its late.

quote from my friend:

"Hitler? what's wrong with Hitler?"

i would give you context, but I think it would be funnier if i didn't. dont worry thou, neither of us are neo-nazis.

anyways, my first day on prozac was yesterday, it went alright, i was just sleepy all day, and more meh than sad. still a lil sad tho.

today is my second day, and i hope it goes well. so far, still depresso as of 10:15 am (exactly :15!!)

im in math rn, doing meth. kidding, i dont have meth and i don't wanna be a methhead.